Getting RNA-logical

[And that’s my second oxy-moron so far, cos RNAs, believe me, have no logic. I am waiting for someone to start an RNA Renaissance, and I must say (proudly) that with my relentless battle with my tube of RNA, I have indeed successfully managed to a instigate 'cold' war of some sort].

Hmmmmm....I went through my blog just now and hell, am I ashamed of myself.....I realized I am not behaving like a scientist AT ALL ! I write three essays and there's not a single scientific word...unless ofcourse you consider "asthmatic" and uhmmm, well, gravity and friction and air drag....that's quite a few....let me put it this way—there’s not a single scientific word in the right context....

So, I decided I needed to devote one blog to science....or atleast to "Whatever i (supposedly) do for ten hours everyday and that earns me my bread (it's weird that my entire life's earning is captioned thus--I mean, after all, a loaf of bread costs one buck.. You might as well give me that one buck to discontinue writing my blog)"

Okay, so getting to the point here, I realized a week ago that my whole lab is on my side, though I can't say the same about science...yeah, my entire lab empathizes with me cos my RNA (expansion: Routinely Not Available) just wouldn’t express and they know I am workin my ass off for it...here's a little note for you laymen out there----first of all, the scientific expansion for RNA is RiboNucleic Acid, though that doesn’t always apply; what ALWAYS applies is 'Routinely Not Available' (and I have unshakeable proof of this), but the scientific community (warped as it is) wouldn't take my suggestion.

Anyway, so RNases, apparently, are very different from RNAs, in that, they are ALWAYS available and EVERYWHERE...RNAses eat RNAs by the way (scientific lesson # 1: add "ase" and you get a predator). Hmmmm, so that's the reason why RNA is routinely not available--- cos RNAses are everywhere---- the palms of your hands, the benchtop, on the lid of the centrifuge, in the tube that has your RNA, the water, the air and practically EVERYwhere).

That is exactly the reason why, last week, when I went strutting about the lab in RNA-less agony, I had the luxury of listening to tales of how long each one in the lab had to wait to express their maiden RNA..... Phew! Was that encouraging or what! So, bottomline: I'd rather have my lab empathize with me and listen to all those stories than have my RNA up and running, really...who cares for that little black band on an X-ray film, anyway...I can think of a zillion ways of generating that (actually, I can't but I am sure if I went to the experts they could give me a zillion ideas).

Well, and as fate would have it, exactly when i DON'T want something, i get it! yep! Reversal of history! My RNA expressed! A shitload ....turns out, I was using dirty water. Note: there is absolutely NO WAY that dirty water can enter an RNA lab...it's blasphemy. (Courtesy: Dr. Jeff Wilusz, reference: Methods. 1999 Jan;17(1):21-7).

But as with science of any form, shape or nature, happiness is transient....yeah, I DID get happy eventually, I am learning to behave like a true scientist..... and just when I stole myself to get happy, my RNA wouldn't turn over! for the non-scientifics out there (including myself) turn over is "degradation" ...yeah, i am studying RNA degradation.... funny that I spend an entire year trying to make RNA only to "want" it to degrade to shit! DUH! scientists....they don’t make any sense whatsoever....the only thing that makes worse sense than scientists is their science...

anyway, so, point: now my RNA doesn’t turn over... and I betcha if there is ONE smart person out there among my readers (chances of that happening are exactly 2 in 1000000000000000), you'd be able to suggest that all I need to do is dump in some RNase (‘some’ here equals 2 in 1000000000000000 of a microliter by the way) and bingo, my RNA would degrade! But that is EXACTLY what my boss doesn’t want ! get it? scientists are funny......you have a zillion milli-molecules of stuff floating all around that can get you the job done and you don’t want that ....you want to do stuff the hard way...did I mention that I add RNAse inhibitor in my tubes to actually prevent RNAs from getting degraded?

Uh, well, I guess I’ll stop before I begin to completely realize the futility of my efforts ...

And I hope at least one of you out there is compassionate enough to one day walk into my lab (1300, Center Ave., room B325, Ft.Collins, CO, USA) and dump some RNase from your dirty fingers into the tube that contains my RNA.....

I couldn’t do it cos it would go against all the norms of being a true scientist (norm#1 being ‘make life as much harder for yourself as you can’).